Life, running, fitness, weight loss, recipes and healthy living!

Life, running, fitness, weight loss, recipes and healthy living!

Tag: weight gain

Being Brave and Facing the Dreaded Weigh In

Being Brave and Facing the Dreaded Weigh In

Today marked two weeks since my last weigh in, when I walked into the bathroom today the scale seemed to be all I could focus on. I will admit I was hesitant at first to step on the scale, knowing that my hard work may or may not be showing on the scale yet, that fear did not stop me, I did step onto that scale! I closed my eyes while the numbers moved a bit and settled into my actual weight being shown on the display, when I opened my eyes and looked down the number 164 was what was shining back up at me. Okay, I can handle that! That was a 3 lb weight loss over the course of 2 weeks (I was 167 last weigh in). When I started back up with my weight loss 3 weeks ago I weighed in at 169.4, so in 3 weeks time I have lost 5.4 lbs, not too bad.

I have to admit when I weigh in now no matter what the number is, I am still not quite 100% happy with myself. Knowing that I was down to 144 at the beginning of 2012 and knowing I had less than 20 lbs left to lose before I hit my goal weight and then I started regaining the weight makes it hard to completely be happy with the numbers this time around.

Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of myself, trust me I am proud of my hard work and of the choices I have been making in order to not only to lose the weight but also to get back to a fitness level I am also proud of. But I just hate that I was so far along in my journey and then I just slipped back into old habits (given a lot of things came up during that time that I have blogged about previously – I battled through a horrible bout of depression, we had some major life altering changes occur in our life, including bringing home an infant unexpectedly becoming parents over night – but I always call things like that “excuses” for weight gain).

But for now I have to embrace where I am in my journey, there are ups and downs, this is a lifelong lifestyle change I am making and it will take time. Mistakes and setbacks happen, I believe how a person handles them and bounce back from them really define that person.

I Used to be Skinny : A Fifteen Pound Confession

I Used to be Skinny : A Fifteen Pound Confession

I have a confession to make, I have gained 15.8 lbs in a relatively short period of time.

I tried to think of a way to lead into that confession. A way to justify the weight gain. I mean I started a new medication, that could be it, right? I battled through depression this winter, that makes it completely acceptable, doesn’t it? I hurt my knee (in the early winter time), so that justifies why I am (still) not exercising like I should, right?

Okay, so really there are no excuses to use, because they are just that, excuses, not really what happened. I am not going to blame those things. The truth is, yes I did hurt my knee which is why my exercise decreased – AT FIRST – I then stayed lazy after it healed. Another truth is I did battle depression over the winter and spring – but even after my moods stabilized – my eating habits did not stabilize.

The biggest truth of them all is the simple fact that my weight gain was caused by two factors: 1. Extreme increase in calorie consumption and 2. Extreme decrease in physical activity. Plain and simple that is HOW I gained the weight.

So it is what it is. I gained 15.8 pounds. I noticed when I gained 5 lbs. That seemed like “no big deal”, because of course your body can fluctuate up and down 5 lbs anyway, I didn’t quite take into account that meant it would also fluctuate down as well (my weight did not). At 10 lbs, I thought to myself, that isn’t “THAT bad”, thinking I had lost a great deal of weight anyway, so ten lbs wasn’t the end of the world. Now sitting at 15.8 lbs gained, I am thinking “Why in the world did I let this happen”.

Feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt and frustration with myself swirl around in my head.  Some of my friends will probably wonder why in the world I am posting for the world to see that I gained some of the weight I lost back, but I find it to be necessary in continuing my weight loss journey. I started my weight loss journey publicly and I will continue on it, through the ups and the downs, publicly. Not only do I hope that my blogging  helps others, I also blog to hold myself accountable – and that is obviously something that I need at the moment.

So let the journey continue, but this time in the right direction.