Life, running, fitness, weight loss, recipes and healthy living!

Life, running, fitness, weight loss, recipes and healthy living!

I Used to be Skinny : A Fifteen Pound Confession

I have a confession to make, I have gained 15.8 lbs in a relatively short period of time.

I tried to think of a way to lead into that confession. A way to justify the weight gain. I mean I started a new medication, that could be it, right? I battled through depression this winter, that makes it completely acceptable, doesn’t it? I hurt my knee (in the early winter time), so that justifies why I am (still) not exercising like I should, right?

Okay, so really there are no excuses to use, because they are just that, excuses, not really what happened. I am not going to blame those things. The truth is, yes I did hurt my knee which is why my exercise decreased – AT FIRST – I then stayed lazy after it healed. Another truth is I did battle depression over the winter and spring – but even after my moods stabilized – my eating habits did not stabilize.

The biggest truth of them all is the simple fact that my weight gain was caused by two factors: 1. Extreme increase in calorie consumption and 2. Extreme decrease in physical activity. Plain and simple that is HOW I gained the weight.

So it is what it is. I gained 15.8 pounds. I noticed when I gained 5 lbs. That seemed like “no big deal”, because of course your body can fluctuate up and down 5 lbs anyway, I didn’t quite take into account that meant it would also fluctuate down as well (my weight did not). At 10 lbs, I thought to myself, that isn’t “THAT bad”, thinking I had lost a great deal of weight anyway, so ten lbs wasn’t the end of the world. Now sitting at 15.8 lbs gained, I am thinking “Why in the world did I let this happen”.

Feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt and frustration with myself swirl around in my head.  Some of my friends will probably wonder why in the world I am posting for the world to see that I gained some of the weight I lost back, but I find it to be necessary in continuing my weight loss journey. I started my weight loss journey publicly and I will continue on it, through the ups and the downs, publicly. Not only do I hope that my blogging  helps others, I also blog to hold myself accountable – and that is obviously something that I need at the moment.

So let the journey continue, but this time in the right direction.

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